Baby Fender

I say this on almost all of my posts, but I am really terrible at blogging. I think about blogging all of the time but then I never seem to find time to do it. I would like to say once the baby comes I will do better, but that probably would be a lie! So to catch up a little, here is Baby Fender's story...
 

After going through our last IVF cycle and having a miscarriage, the hubs and I decided to take a much needed break from trying to have a baby.  It was becoming very physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting.  We decided to take some time for just the two of us and take a vacation.  I also trained and ran a half-marathon, which was one of the biggest accomplishments of my life.  It gave me hope that pretty much anything is possible if I can suffer through running for that long! 
 

After a wonderful, relaxing vacation in ARUBA, we decided it was time to try IVF again and hope for the best.  This hands down was the hardest round so far.  I had mixed emotions about it and didn’t want to experience the same disappointment as last time.  The doctors were also trying a few new things, which meant twice the amount of injections and a longer pre-retrieval cycle.  There were days that I would just cry and say I can’t do this anymore and I just wanted to give up.  There were days where I had given up hope that it was ever going to work, and I just wanted to explore other options.  My husband was definitely my rock through it all and held me up through the entire process.  I finally put it all in God’s hands and came to terms that if it works it works and if it doesn’t then there were other ways to become a mother.
 

On Sunday, August 19^th, we made our way to Wake Forest in Winston Salem, NC for what would probably be our last attempt at having a child “naturally.”  I did an inner-office egg retrieval, which just translates into being awake and feeling most of the procedure.  Because it doesn’t take too long in the grand scheme of things and it is much cheaper, we decided to go that route instead of having a pleasant nap where I don’t know what is going on.  My husband was allowed to watch this retrieval which was cool for him but not so great for me.  I love my husband more than anything in this world, however he LOVES science!  That means that he had to ask a bunch of questions during the procedure which means the doctor stops to explain what he is going during the procedure, all while I am laying there patiently waiting for the two of them to shut up!  HA!  I was thankful that he got to experience the process with me, and I think it gave him a newfound respect for what I had to go through. 
 

When you go through IVF, the embryologist scores your embryos.  Since I am somewhat of a perfectionist, it was a little painful to hear on Tuesday, August 21^st that ours were only scoring at a C level.  Because we had gone through this before, I was worried that the same thing was going to happen yet again.  Luckily by the time we went back to Wake Forest on Wednesday, August 22^nd, two of our embryos were scoring at a B level and the other one had been upgraded to a higher level C!  Go baby Fenders!!  This was by far the best embryos we had gotten during all 3 IVF cycles.  Due to my “younger” age, they don’t usually implant more than 2 embryos, but since we hadn’t had success yet, they proceeded with all 3.  On August 22^nd, these 3 beautiful babies were implanted back into my uterus.  Nothing can describe the feeling of seeing the embryos implanted back into me.  IVF is an extremely hard process, but we are so lucky because we get to see the process from start to finish.

 



We made our way home and started the 10 day wait.  10 days doesn’t seem like a long time, but it felt like an eternity.  Finally, on day 9 I couldn’t stand it any longer and I took a home pregnancy test.  This is what I saw J

 

 

I was still cautiously optimistic as we have been down this road before.  The following day, I had my first HCG blood test which came back lower than what I was anticipating.  My husband was overjoyed and I was still cautiously optimistic and worried we were about to experience the same thing as last time.  On Labor Day, we went in for another HCG blood test.  I had mixed feeling about having the test on this specific day.  This was when Baby Fender #1 was supposed to be due, and I knew I couldn’t handle losing yet another baby on the same day my first would have been born.  The phone rang and I held my breath as they told me the numbers had more than doubled!  I was overjoyed and thought okay, maybe this is really going to happen this time.  I had to go back a few days later for yet another HCG test, which came back more than doubled from what it was supposed to be…then it hit me!  OMG – could there be more than one vampire in there?! 

We patiently waited another week to have our first ultrasound.  My husband and I went back and forth about how wonderful it would be if we had twins.  We also had some concerns if there were THREE babies!  We knew that God had a plan for us and whatever he gave us we would make work.  My maternal instincts told me it was only one, but everyone else thought there would be multiples.  On September 14^th, we went in for our first ultrasound.  I knew what it looks like without a baby and was praying that this time it would be different.  I have never been more nervous in my entire life.  I will never forget the feeling of seeing ONE tiny baby and hearing its heartbeat for the first time.  I would like to introduce you to Baby Fender (aka Spec as my dad calls it) and his/her first picture:



 

 

It took me until about 12 weeks to lose the feeling that something was going to happen and we were going to lose this baby.  I know that something could still happen, but I have put it all in God’s hands.  God had a plan for us all along.  We weren’t meant to have Baby Fender #1 at the time we had planned for it.  I understand now that it isn’t about my timing, it is about His.  Some of our best friends are pregnant and I really believe we were meant to go through this together.  We were meant to experience everything together and have our children grow up together.  If Baby Fender #1 would have come as we planned, we would have never had the experiences that we are having now together.

Three of my favorite people on earth!

 

I thank God for this child daily and can’t wait to see what He has in store for him/her and us in the coming years.  Up next – a 19 week update and we find out if the vampire is a girl or boy this week!! 

 

"We prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted us what we asked of him."

-1 Samuel 1:27