When I was pregnant with Kearington, I had in my head what I thought motherhood would be like. I never quite understood when people would say that being a mom is the hardest yet most rewarding job on the planet until I had her. I think as parents, your life starts to revolve around your children the second they take their first breathe. There is no longer "let's decide to go to the movies last minute" or "let's go to Ruth Chris for dinner" once you have a baby. There is really nothing that happens last minute except the unwanted spit-up on your shirt while walking out that door. Every moment of the day is consumed with your child and their needs.
I am struggling to find a balance between taking care of Kearington, having time with the hubs as well as a little time for myself. My husband is great in that it might be 11 o'clock at night when I take a shower, but he gives me the 5 minutes of solitude if I want it when I want it. I think as a mother, you feel guilty if your daily life doesn't revolve around your child. I feel guilty if she is crying while I am trying to workout, eat lunch, or clean the house (my husband is laughing at this one I'm sure). I feel guilty at the end of the night when I am exhausted and my husband wants to spend some time with me. I feel guilty that I don't have as much time to spend with our furry babies as I would like. All of these things are part of being a mother.
Things have gotten easier over the last couple of months as I have started to ease into our routine and learning Kearington's needs and wants. I am so lucky and fortunate that my husband works so hard for me to be able to stay at home with our daughter. I still have a lot to learn especially in the wife/mother balancing act though. I think this will be a learning process that will continue to happen and will improve over time.
A few weeks ago, one of Brandon's closest friends got married. It was a night wedding, so we asked my parents to watch Kearington. It would be the first time I would be without her overnight since having her. I had only been away from her for a few hours at a time...not overnight! As I drove away from their house, ever part of me said to turn around and get her but I knew that the hubs and I needed this time together. I am so glad that I had a night to be the wife and give the mom part of me a little break. I think everyone deserves a little break and shouldn't feel guilty about it. I had such an awesome time at the wedding and spending time with the love of my life. I think it was what we both needed. Sometimes you need a little time away from your children...and that is OK!
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